BOOKS

BOOK REVIEWS

Confronting taboos and misunderstandings about sexuality and aging, Couple Sexuality After 60: Intimate, Pleasurable, and Satisfying motivates couples to embrace sex and sexuality in their 60s, 70s, and 80s. The book busts two extreme myths―that people over 60 cannot and should not be sexual and that the best way to be sexual is to emphasize eroticism, using sex toys, and “kinky sex”.

Using a variable, flexible approach to couple sexuality based on the Good Enough Sex (GES) model, this book places the essence of sexuality in pleasure-oriented touching, not individual sex performance. Barry and Emily McCarthy introduce a new sexual mantra of “desire/pleasure/eroticism/satisfaction” with the goal of presenting a healthy model of sexuality to replace the traditional double standard that couples learn in young adulthood. Specific chapters focus on important areas like coming to terms with the new normal, female–male sexual equity, satisfaction being about more than intercourse and orgasm, valuing synchronous and asynchronous sexuality, psychobiosocial approaches to sexuality, and more.

In addition to aging heterosexual couples, single individuals and queer couples will find this book interesting. Additionally, sexual health clinicians and sex therapists with clients over the age of 60 will find this a fascinating read.

“Barry and Emily McCarthy continue to produce high-quality, highly relevant, and extremely readable books that can be enjoyed by professional and lay readers alike. In their most recent collaboration, they address the complexities of male sexuality. Male sexuality is often misunderstood as being simple, straightforward, and unsophisticated. The authors quickly debunk that myth and recognize that male sexuality is every bit as complex and nuanced as female sexuality. With beautifully presented case studies, as well as thoughtfully designed behavioral exercises, the McCarthys have given us a book that will not only make men better men, but also make them better relationship partners. I am certain to recommend this book to many, many of my patients.” – Daniel N. Watter, Ed.D., past president, The Society for Sex Therapy and Research (SSTAR).

“Contemporary Male Sexuality is well written and with very clear and direct messages which are easy to understand. This will be a very valuable contribution to a new model of male sexuality from two of the most preeminent and prolific authors in the history of sex therapy.” – Pedro Nobre, professor of psychology, Porto University, Portugal; president of the World Association for Sexual Health

“I am pleased to have the opportunity to endorse this insightful and timely book by Barry and Emily McCarthy. In an era of changing sex roles and sexual polemics, the McCarthys offer a clear perspective and guidepost for couples. They emphasize that male and female sexuality are both complex and that both sexes are more similar than dissimilar. The goal should be empower both members in a relationship to develop their mutual manner of sharing intimacy and to celebrate their uniqueness as individuals and as a couple. This is the fifteenth book co-authored by the McCarthys and written for the general public. In my opinion, this text is their best.” – R. Taylor Segraves, MD, editor, Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy

“Barry and Emily McCarthy give practical, reassuring, knowledgeable, and wise suggestions for living a partnered life with satisfaction, security and sexuality. They write for everyone whether monogamous, monogamish, polyamorous, pansexual, straight, gay, bi, or more. Their point is that sex is good for us, our lives, our relationships, adding 15 to 20% to our satisfaction. Their plain, clear writing helps people decide what is right for them and their relationships so that their relationship agreements can promote desire/pleasure/eroticism/satisfaction. Whether you are a therapist, client, or student wanting clarity on what works and doesn’t work in significant relationships involving sexual expression, Enhancing Couple Sexuality will be an important contribution to your thinking.”

Susan E. Stiritz, MBA, PhD, MSW, AASECT president, associate professor of practice, chair of the specialization in Sexual Health and Education, The Brown School, Washington University, St. Louis

“Barry and Emily McCarthy have done it again. They offer a clear voice and a wholistic frame for adult bonded loving sexuality. Everyone who works with couples or sexuality should read this book.”

Dr. Sue Johnson, EdD, author of Attachment Theory in Practice: EFT with Individuals, Couples and Families

“Finding Your Sexual Voice leaves no stone unturned in its relentless debunking of sex-related myths and framing of sexual health in its appropriate sociocultural context. This book is rooted in science and readers can trust McCarthy and McCarthy who have their fingertips embedded in the science as well as the stories. This book is a must for anyone interested in improving their sexual health, and it is delivered in the most accessible, entertaining, and relatable manner.”

Dr. Lori A. Brotto, PhD, R. Psych., Canada Research Chair in Women’s Sexual Health, Professor at the University of British Columbia, Registered Psychologist, and author of Better Sex Through Mindfulness

“This classic book is my favorite for couples distressed by sexual desire discrepancy. It helps them make the difficult switch from resentment and blame to becoming an intimate sexual team. The simplicity of the McCarthys’ wisdom is disarmingly accessible. I will be delighted to recommend this new, third edition to therapists and clients working collaboratively in sex and couple therapy.” ― Peggy J. Kleinplatz, PhD, professor of medicine and director of Sex and Couples Therapy Training at University of Ottawa, Canada.

“I was a huge fan of the first two editions of this book, and this newest edition is an even better version of the McCarthys’ gifted and skillful approach to the understanding and treatment of sexual desire problems. Well written, insightful, and above all practical, this is a book all couples experiencing strains in their sexual relationship will find comforting and enlightening. I know of no better self-help resource than Rekindling Desire, and of no better messengers than Barry and Emily McCarthy. I know that I will continue to recommend this book to my patients.” ― Daniel N. Watter, Ed.D, past-president, The Society for Sex Therapy and Research (SSTAR)

“It’s no surprise that this excellent resource is now available as a 5th edition. This thorough and methodical analysis provides a road map for couples who wish to enrich and deepen their emotional and intimate connection. ” -Sexual and Relationship Therapy

“Sexual Awareness is the gold standard for couple self-help sexuality books and is now unsurpassed with this updated and revised edition. It is the best consumer book available for helping couples grow their unique sexual style of intimacy, desire, pleasure, eroticism, and satisfaction.” – Michael E. Metz, PhD, psychologist and sex therapist in private practice, Minnesota, USA

“Sexual Awareness is a superb book which sensitively offers responsible and highly useful sexual information that I am pleased to recommend to patients and friends alike!” – Michael A. Perelman, PhD, Past-President , Society for Sex Therapy & Research; Clinical Professor, Weill Medical College, Cornell University; Co-Director, Human Sexuality Program, The New York Presbyterian Hospital

I’m a therapist and I treat erectile “dysfunction” (this term is actually becoming dated and politically incorrect). Although books can’t do the work that you need to do in therapy, I find this to be an invaluable resource that I have many of my clients purchase. Most erectile dysfunction can be treated with various cognitive and mindfulness-based therapies, and this book does a good job of summarizing, in plain language, lots of the basics and mechanics of this very treatable and very common problem.

“Finally, a cutting-edge book that delivers hope and end confusion about a common sexual difficulty that affects so many men and their partners. Metz and McCarthy’s biopsychosocial approach to understanding and treating PE goes beyond traditional and often ineffective treatments for a sexual problem that troubles so many couples. Coping with Premature Ejaculation has it all.”
—Julian Slowinski, Psy.D., coauthor, The Sexual Male, assistant professor, department of Psychiatry, University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine, AASECT certified sex therapist

“This is an excellent, easy-to-read self-help book which is unique in that the treatment recommendations are individualized. Upon opening the book and reading the first pages, one immediately knows that two master therapists, with years of experience treating sexual problems, wrote this book. In a nutshell, this book is a gem.”
—Robert Segraves, MD, Ph.D., author, Sexual Pharmocology, professor of Psychiatry at Case Western Reserve University, and editor, The Journal of Sex and Martial Therapy